When we prepare to marry our spouse, we imagine our marriage will be like the fairytales. We feel the giddiness of our love for them, have hope for a bright future with them, and embrace the newness that comes with becoming partners for life. These fairytale-like feelings are often referred to as "the honeymoon stage". While the honeymoon stage is blissful and amazing, it does not last forever. As the newness of a marriage wears off and reality sets in, conflicts may arise. Marriage counsellors can help you and your spouse talk through your conflicts and help the two of you work as a team to develop a solution.
Sometimes, marital issues escalate to a breaking point. While there is probably still some love in the marriage, one or both partners may get to a point where they have begun to consider divorce. If you or your partner are considering a divorce, counselling can guide you to making the best decision for your family. If that decision ends up being for the couple to get a divorce, counselling can help the couple work through their divorce and allow the marriage to have a better chance at ending on good terms. If the couple decide to give their marriage another shot, counselling can help them work through the issues they are experiencing, giving them a better chance at a healthy relationship.
Who Can Benefit From Marriage Counselling?
Marriage counselling is a form of therapy that is designed to help married or soon to be married couples work through any problems that may arise in marriage from communication issues to working together through tough times. Sometimes, engaged couples seek marriage counselling before their marriage ceremony to ensure they are in the best place possible with their relationship prior to the wedding, allowing them to confront potential problems and enter their marriage on the same page.
Marriage counselling can prove to be beneficial to any committed couple who is looking for ways to improve their relationship. Regardless of the couple's religion, ethnicity, or background, marriage counselling can provide a judgement-free zone to allow them to develop healthy communication patterns, get to know each other on a deeper level, and ultimately improve their relationship.
When Should You Seek Marriage Counselling?
Couples can seek marriage counselling for many different reasons. If you have begun to feel as though your partner and you are growing apart, arguing often, or something just does not feel right, marriage counselling may be beneficial to your marriage. A few reasons one may wish to seek marriage counselling include:
Trust issues. Trust between partners is an important part of a healthy marriage. Trust, however, is a fragile thing. It can be broken with infidelity, secrets, and lies. Counselling may be able to help partners work through trust issues between the two of them.
Feeling distant from each other. When your marriage hits a point where the two of you have begun to grow apart, never connecting, and feeling as though you don't know each other anymore, marriage counselling can guide a discussion to help your partner and you work through this.
Constant arguing. 24/7 arguments are not healthy for anybody and will begin to take a toll on both partner's mental health. If you find your partner and you arguing often, you may be able to get to the root of the arguing by attending marriage counselling.
Huge life events. Life- changing events like losing a job, moving to a new state, or losing a loved one can really take a toll on your marriage. Marriage counselling can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms for getting through these events in a healthy way together.
Intimacy issues. As your marriage goes on, the spark may begin to fade. If you and your partner have begun to feel as though your spark is fading, marriage counselling can help the two of you reignite your flames.
When one or both of you have begun to consider divorce. Making the decision to end a marriage is a tough choice. If one or both of you have begun to consider divorce, seeking marriage counselling can help you decide if it is the right choice for you. If the two of you do decide on a divorce, marriage counselling may help you end the marriage amicably. If the two of you decide to stick it out together, marriage counselling can help you work through your issues together.
What to Expect From Marriage Counselling
Marriage counselling can provide you with many useful tools that can improve not only your relationship with your spouse, but your relationship with all of the people who surround you. In marriage counselling, you may:
Learn how to communicate in a healthy way. Communication skills are essential for healthy relationships. Counselling can help you and your partner ensure that you are communicating effectively, allowing each other to feel heard, and recognising inefficient communication patterns.
Discover underlying issues causing marital problems. Therapy creates a comfortable environment that allows the couple to feel safe enough to share their deepest thoughts with each other. This may help the couple clear the air and find the underlying cause behind their marital issues.
Learn new ways to connect and become closer to each other. Your couple's counsellor will provide your partner and you with tools and "homework assignments" that will teach you new ways to show your love for each other.
Resolving conflicts in the marriage. Unresolved conflicts can build resentment within a marriage. Couples counselling can help your partner and you resolve conflicts that have been weighing on your marriage.
Do Both Partners Need to Attend Couple's Counselling?
While having both partners present in counselling is preferred, counselling sessions can still be productive with the presence of one partner. The counsellor may be able to help this partner learn relationship skills that they can bring into their relationship.
Sometimes if the relationship is too strained and couples are not able to communicate with each other during a session then a therapist may advise to see each other separately (at least for a session or two).
We Can Help
If you and your partner are experiencing marital issues then speaking to someone really can lead to a massive improvement in your overall relationship. After all, relationships take work and dedication, and putting in the time and effort to have difficult conversations is all part of it.