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When is it Right to Divorce Your Partner?

Marriage can be tough. There are growing pains, a constant need to compromise, and inevitable disagreements. Learn when it's the right to move on.

Marriage can be tough. There are growing pains, a constant need to compromise, and inevitable disagreements. Sometimes, it can feel as though your marriage is coming to an end. Has the intimacy come to a halt? Have you and your partner’s arguments become less productive and more heated? Have you begun to wonder what life would be like if the two of you got a divorce?

Should I Seek Marriage Counselling?

On your wedding day, as you are dressing in your most beautiful clothes, preparing to marry the love of your life, the thought of divorce does not tend to be something to cross your mind. Yet, about 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce. There are many reasons a marriage may end in divorce; from financial issues, to parenting disagreements, to infidelity. The list goes on and on. 

Marriage counselling can be a great thing to help you and your partner work through the issues you may be having in your marriage. It can also be beneficial to help you figure out if you should or should not divorce your partner. 

The Benefits of Marriage Counselling

There are a multitude of benefits to seeking marriage counselling, whether the two of you are newly married or on the verge of seeking a divorce. The benefits marriage counselling can offer you include:

  • Knowing if Divorce is the Best Option for Your Marriage: A marriage counsellor will ask you questions related to your relationship. These questions are meant to help you work through your thoughts and feelings about your relationship and whether your marriage still has a chance at working out. A counsellor may ask if you feel you have truly done all there is to do to save this marriage. They may ask you both if you feel that you would be willing to put the work in to save your marriage, because it will take work to fix it. The therapist may also ask why you are still married to your partner.

  • You Can Identify the Issues You Are Having in Your Marriage: Counselling is a great place to speak about your issues and be heard. When you are at home, there is no mediator to help guide your discussion with your spouse about any feelings, thoughts, or issues you may be having. In counselling, you will have somebody who can mediate the conversation, making sure the both of you are able to dish out your issues.

  • You Will Learn Healthy Communication Skills and How to Better Understand Your Partner: If you and your partner decide to work on your marriage before seeking a divorce, marriage counselling can help guide you both to better understand each other through learning how to better understand your partner while also learning how to communicate effectively.

  • You Will Be Able to Be Better for Your Children: Whether you decide to work on your marriage or to seek a divorce, marriage counselling will still help you to be able to work better together as your children’s parents. The communication skills you learn in counselling will be crucial to building the best parenting team the two of you can be. 

  • You Will Develop Skills that Will Follow You in Many Aspects of Your Life: No matter what ends up happening with your marriage after counselling, you will have developed communication and listening skills that will follow you into your relationships with your children, friends, partner, and family.

How a Marriage Counsellor Can Help You Through a Divorce

Sometimes, a marriage just does not work out. A counsellor can help you work through the divorce process; from making the decision to divorce all the way to working out a healthy coparenting or ex-spousal relationship. A marriage counsellor can help the two of you:

  • Make the decision to divorce or not: a marriage counsellor will help you and your partner work through your issues and help you come to a decision whether divorce is the best choice or not. 

  • Accept the decision to divorce: Even if your marriage is very rocky right now, a divorce will be hard on the both of you. Marriage counselling can help you work through the feelings that will come with mourning your marriage in the case of a divorce.

  • End on Amicable terms: In the case of a divorce, especially if children are involved, marriage counselling will be extremely beneficial to help the two of you end your marriage on good terms. It can give you the skills needed to properly communicate and coparent even after the relationship is over. 

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Learn more about how we can help through our post, 10 Tips for Telehealth Therapy.

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