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How to Make Friends as an Adult: Tips for Building Community

relationships

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Reviewed by Fabian Fiderer

AHPRA Registered Psychologist

13 Dec, 2024

Making friends as an adult can feel daunting. Gone are the days of schoolyards and extracurricular clubs where friendships formed almost naturally. Between busy work schedules, family responsibilities, and personal commitments, finding the time and space to connect with others might seem challenging. But building a strong community is not only possible-it’s incredibly rewarding.

In this article, we’ll explore practical tips and strategies to help you forge meaningful connections and enrich your social life as an adult.

Why Making Friends as an Adult is Important

Friendships play a vital role in mental health and overall well-being. Studies have shown that strong social connections can reduce stress, improve self-esteem, and even increase lifespan. Loneliness, on the other hand, is associated with higher risks of depression and anxiety.

A 2022 study conducted in Australia revealed that 1 in 3 adults experience loneliness at least once a week, highlighting the need for intentional efforts to build social networks. This isolation not only impacts emotional health but has been linked to physical health risks, such as heart disease and weakened immunity.

Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. - Brene Brown

Overcoming Barriers to Adult Friendships

Before diving into strategies for making friends, it’s important to address some common barriers. Here’s what might be holding you back:

Fear of Rejection

It’s natural to fear that someone might not reciprocate your efforts. However, most people appreciate when someone takes the initiative to connect.

Limited Opportunities

Between work and personal responsibilities, finding the time to meet new people can be tough. However, carving out intentional time for socialising is key.

Past Experiences

Negative past experiences can make reaching out feel risky. But with practice and the right mindset, forming new connections becomes easier over time.

Cultural Expectations

In some cultures or societies, adult friendships may take a backseat to familial obligations or career priorities. It’s essential to make space for friendships regardless of societal expectations.

Tips for Building Friendships as an Adult

Building friendships as an adult requires effort, intention, and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone. Here are actionable tips to help you form genuine connections:

Find Common Interests

Connecting with people who share your hobbies or passions is a natural way to build friendships. Identifying areas you are passionate about or interested in will make it easier to engage with others confidently, especially when initiating conversations.

Some ideas to start with:

  • Book clubs

    Perfect for avid readers who love discussing stories.

  • Fitness classes

    Yoga, Pilates, or team sports create regular opportunities to connect.

  • Volunteer organisations

    Giving back to the community is not only fulfilling but also a great way to meet like-minded people.

Engaging in activities you love provides opportunities to meet like-minded people while enjoying something that makes you happy.

Reconnect with Old Friends

Sometimes, building a community starts with reaching out to those you already know.

  • Send a message to a former schoolmate or colleague.

  • Plan a catch-up over coffee or lunch.

  • A simple "How have you been?" can go a long way.

Tools for Finding New Connections

In a world where technology has brought us closer, using digital tools can expand your social circle significantly. Consider these resources:

  • Bumble BFF

    Designed specifically to help people meet friends.

  • Meetup

    Connect with people through events centred around shared interests.

  • Local Facebook groups often organise meet-ups or community activities.

These platforms simplify the process of meeting new people and help you find connections that align with your lifestyle.

Be Open to Casual Connections

Everyday interactions can lead to deeper friendships.

  • Chat with a neighbour.

  • Strike up a conversation with a coworker.

  • Attend local events or gatherings.

Consider Professional Networking

Professional settings offer an excellent opportunity to form bonds. Engage in workplace activities or attend industry events to meet like-minded people.

Take Initiative

Sometimes, all it takes is being the one to make the first move. Invite someone to coffee, lunch, or an event. A little courage can go a long way.

Where to Find Friendships Based on Interests

Interest

Suggested Activities

Platform/Location

Fitness

Yoga classes, running clubs, team sports

Local gyms, fitness apps like Strava

Arts and Crafts

Painting workshops, knitting groups

Meetup, community centers

Book lovers

Book clubs, library events

Libraries, Goodreads groups

Social causes

Volunteering, charity events

Volunteering Australia, local NGOs

Foodies

Cooking classes, foodie meet-ups

Local cafes, event apps

Maintaining and Deepening Friendships

Once you’ve started building friendships, the next step is to nurture them. Friendships, like any relationship, require effort and care. Here are some tips for maintaining meaningful connections:

Show Up Consistently

Make an effort to spend time together regularly. Even a quick check-in text can help maintain the bond.

Celebrate Their Wins

Whether it’s a promotion, a birthday, or a personal milestone, celebrating your friend’s successes shows you care.

Show You Care

Building friendships isn’t just about spending time together, it’s about making others feel valued. Small gestures that show someone you appreciate their time can strengthen your connection.

Be a Good Listener

Active listening is crucial for fostering deeper relationships. Give your full attention and show empathy when your friends share their thoughts or feelings.

Create Rituals

Shared traditions- like a monthly coffee date or annual holiday gathering—help cement the friendship.

Benefits of Building a Community

Building a strong social network goes beyond making friends—it creates a foundation for emotional and mental well-being. Here are some key benefits of fostering meaningful connections:

Emotional Support

Having a community provides a safety net during challenging times. Whether you’re navigating personal struggles or celebrating achievements, friends offer understanding, comfort, and encouragement.

Increased Happiness

Socialising naturally boosts mood by releasing endorphins, the body’s “feel-good” chemicals. Spending time with others can help reduce stress and foster a greater sense of joy and contentment.

Personal Growth

Engaging with people from diverse backgrounds broadens your perspective and helps you learn new skills. Friendships challenge you to grow, adapt, and become the best version of yourself.

Improved Physical Health

A 2020 study published in Nature Human Behaviour found that people with strong social ties are 50% more likely to live longer than those without. Friendships contribute to better heart health, reduced stress levels, and even improved immune function.

While the thought of making friends as an adult can feel intimidating, it’s also an opportunity for growth and connection. By stepping outside your comfort zone, joining groups, and practicing vulnerability, you can build lasting relationships that enrich your life. Remember, building a community takes time and effort, but the rewards are well worth it.

We understand that building meaningful relationships can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already struggling with feelings of loneliness or social anxiety. That’s why here at Talked, we provide compassionate support tailored to your needs.

Our team of experienced therapists specialises in helping individuals navigate the complexities of forming and maintaining connections. Whether you’re feeling isolated, unsure how to reach out to others, or trying to rebuild confidence after past setbacks, we offer a safe space to explore these challenges.

A recent study by Relationships Australia found that 35% of people reported having no one to confide in outside their immediate family, highlighting the importance of resources like Talked to bridge the gap.

You don’t have to face this journey alone. Let us walk alongside you, offering support and understanding as you take steps toward creating the connections you deserve.

As Helen Keller wisely said, “Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”

References

  • Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2022). Loneliness and social isolation in Australia. aihw.gov.au

  • Psychology Today. (2023). The science of adult friendships. psychologytoday.com

  • Meetup. (2024). About Meetup. meetup.com

  • Nature Human Behaviour. (2020). Social relationships and mortality risk. nature.com

  • Relationships Australia. (2022). Loneliness Report. relationships.org.au

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