Narcissism has become a buzzword on social media lately. However, contrary to what some people believe, narcissism itself is not a personality disorder.
According to Nova Gibson, a counsellor who supports victims of narcissistic abuse, narcissism can be defined as “a cluster of traits that exist on a spectrum”. It’s a personality trait that exists in some degree in all of us—mild in some and severe in others.
If you feel abused or manipulated by someone with narcissistic traits, regardless of where they fall on the narcissistic spectrum, it’s important to acknowledge that your feelings and pain are valid. Ongoing exposure to narcissistic behaviours can take a serious toll on anyone’s wellbeing and may lead to serious issues if left unaddressed.
Seeking professional support can help you navigate narcissistic relationships, set healthy boundaries, and protect your mental and overall health.
Narcissism vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder
General narcissistic traits: These traits may manifest as occasional self-absorption, a desire for recognition, or a need for validation. These traits may come and go and often do not cause major disruption in relationships or daily life.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD): NPD is a complex mental health condition marked by excessive self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Some people with NPD may also struggle with low self-esteem and sensitivity to criticism.
If you suspect you have NPD or unhealthy levels of narcissistic traits, getting professional help is the first step toward making positive changes.
Below are some relevant statistics and research findings about narcissism and NPD:
Studies estimate that NPD affects between 0.5% to 6.2% of the general population, with more cases found in males than in females. It’s important to note, however, that not all NPD cases are diagnosed or reported. (Australian Psychological Society, PubMed Central)
A person’s narcissistic traits often decline with age but typically remain higher than average or above those of the person's peers. (American Psychological Association)
NPD is associated with significant social problems as well as mental and physical health comorbidities. (PubMed Central)
In Australia and Canada, the prevalence of narcissism has remained relatively stable over the past years, despite social media making it appear like narcissism is on the rise everywhere. (ResearchGate)
Signs and Assessment
Recognising your own or someone else’s narcissistic behaviours can be challenging. However, if you realise that you have unhealthy patterns (whether they’re linked to narcissism or not) and would like to change them, that is already a big step.
According to the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), people with NPD show at least five of the following traits:
Exaggerated self-importance
Obsession with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Belief that one is special and can only be understood by or associated with special people or institutions
A need for excessive admiration
A sense of entitlement to special treatment
Exploitation of others
A lack of empathy
Jealousy of others or the belief that others are jealous of them
Arrogant, condescending behaviour or attitudes
In relationships, dealing with someone who has unhealthy narcissistic behaviours can be emotionally exhausting and even feel abusive. You may also experience:
Love bombing - Overwhelming displays of love and attention to gain control
Gaslighting - Manipulating situations to make you question your experience or reality
Blame-shifting - Never taking responsibility and always having an excuse
Emotional neglect - Consistently prioritising their wants over your needs, even after you’ve expressed them
Only qualified mental health professionals can diagnose NPD. For proper assessment and guidance, consult with a registered therapist.
Management and Treatment
Therapeutic approaches for NPD
While NPD can be challenging to treat, therapy for narcissism can help individuals develop empathy, overcome underlying insecurities, challenge unhealthy beliefs, regulate emotions, and improve their relationships.
If you seek therapy for NPD, a mental health professional will assess you and check for any coexisting conditions. Your narcissism treatment plan will depend on their findings, and it will likely involve any of the following:
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): Helps individuals recognise and change harmful thought patterns while building healthier coping skills
Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT): Teaches emotional control, stress management, and better relationship skills
Schema therapy: Focuses on deep-rooted beliefs and past experiences that shape narcissistic behaviours
Psychodynamic therapy: Explores past experiences and unconscious conflicts to improve self-awareness and emotional growth
Mindfulness-based therapy: Uses mindfulness techniques to enhance self-reflection, emotional balance, and impulse control
There are no medications specifically for treating NPD, but if you have coexisting conditions, such as anxiety or depression, a doctor may prescribe medication to help manage those symptoms.
Therapy for those affected by a narcissist
Whether you're still dealing with a narcissist or you are healing from past experiences, their behaviour can have a lasting impact. Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and neglect can leave you feeling drained and questioning your reality.
A therapist can help you regain your confidence and wellbeing through personalised support. They may use methods like CBT and DBT, and they may also guide you in:
Setting boundaries: Limit exposure to toxic behaviours and enforce consequences
Prioritising self-care: Engage in activities that support your emotional and mental health
Rebuilding your self-worth: Therapy helps undo the damage to your confidence and identity
Overcoming self-doubt: Learn to trust your perceptions after gaslighting
Releasing self-blame: Let go of guilt and recognise you weren’t responsible for their behaviour
Get Help from a Talked Therapist
Whether you’re struggling with narcissistic tendencies or you’re healing from narcissistic abuse, personalised therapy can offer clarity and support.
Seeking help is a sign of strength. Book a session with a Talked therapist today and start building a healthier, more fulfilling life.
