Am I emotionally unstable?

Do you ever feel as though your moods are ever-changing and, oftentimes, extreme? Do you find yourself feeling ecstatic one minute then falling apart the next?

If you feel that you may be emotionally unstable, this resource offers insights about emotional instability, its signs and impacts, and when intense mood changes might be signaling a more serious mental health condition.

Signs you may be emotionally unstable

We all experience mood fluctuations, but for some, these changes are extreme, frequent, and damaging. It’s important to recognise our own emotional instability, especially when it starts to hurt the people we care about. Below are some of its symptoms.

1. Rapid changes in mood

Experiencing changes in your mood throughout the day is a normal part of everyday life. However, if it happens too rapidly—like shifting from joy to dread or anger without an apparent reason—then it could be an indication of emotional instability. 

Some factors that may cause extreme mood changes are stress, trauma, substance use, hormonal imbalances, and underlying mental health disorders like bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder or BPD. 

2. Your moods feel extreme and are hard to control

Intense emotions and reactions to small triggers can lead a person to do things they’ll likely regret later on. When it feels as though your emotions are running the show, it may be time to seek the help of mental health professionals. 

3. You struggle to feel empathy

A person with extreme and unstable emotions can get caught up in their own head. They may struggle to see a world outside of themselves, making it difficult to empathise with others or see perspectives apart from their own.. 

In some cases, this person ends up unknowingly neglecting or abusing their family members psychologically or emotionally.

4. You tend to have drama in your relationships

Unstable and dysregulated emotions can hurt or even permanently damage relationships. When your emotions are often volatile, it’s not unlikely that your friends, partners, and family will have a hard time trusting you, talking with you, or even simply being near you. 

Each person has their own feelings and problems, too, and they may not always have the bandwidth to cater to your outbursts. Unfortunately, a person who is too focused on what they feel might not consider how their actions affect others, which then causes more drama.

5. You struggle to stick to your word

When your mood changes, your mind and decisions likely change along with it. You may find yourself constantly cancelling plans, breaking promises, and unable to make concrete decisions. Over time, this results in broken trust and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

6. You fear criticism and rejection

People with emotion management issues often do not have strong coping mechanisms to deal with criticism and rejection.  They may find themselves swept by extreme emotions at the slightest sign of rejection, so they may just do what they can to avoid feeling that way.

In some instances, emotionally unstable people also struggle with unhealthy levels of narcissistic traits.

7. You have trouble coming down from your emotions

Having a hard time calming down is one of the most obvious signs of emotional instability. You may not possess the skills necessary to self-soothe and de-escalate from intense feelings, and your emotions tend to become more and more aroused.

Someone with this problem may hold onto their anger, sadness, or shame long after the trigger has passed. They may also have a habit of replaying past conflicts in their mind, which stirs up more emotions.

8. You are impulsive

You may find yourself making big life decisions on a whim like adopting a puppy, breaking up with your partner, or moving to a new city. This isn't always a bad thing, but it can begin to negatively impact your relationships and overall quality of life if you do it too often.

Tips for dealing with unstable emotions

Dealing with unstable emotions can take a toll on your mental health and leave you feeling drained and alone.

Aa mental health professional can offer personalised guidance to help you understand your emotions and develop effective coping strategies. Taking small, intentional steps can also help you regain balance and emotional well-being.

1. Take care of your overall health

When you take care of your physical health, your mental health thrives and vice versa.  It's surprising what a little self-care can do for your emotional stability.

• Eat well: A balanced diet supports brain function.

• Stay hydrated: Dehydration can worsen mood swings.

• Exercise regularly: Physical activity can stabilise emotions.

• Get enough sleep: Poor sleep contributes to emotional instability.

2. Create routines and structure

If your environment promotes stability, your emotions will likely follow. You may find that your emotions feel the most extreme in your downtime, so scheduling something to do may help you avoid emotional turmoil.

On the other hand, you may find yourself struggling when you have too much on your plate, so scheduling some downtime may help you feel more balanced.

• Set a consistent daily routine (you may have different weekday and weekend routines)

• Schedule self-care and relaxation

• Reduce stressors that trigger emotional outbursts

As you create a structure around your external life, you may feel your internal self becoming more stable because you have a good idea of what to expect from your day.

3. Practice mindfulness, journaling, and meditation

Mindfulness, journaling, and meditation are great tools to prevent and calm down from emotions that are spinning out of control. When you do these practices, you get to understand better where your emotions are coming from, which may grant you more control over them.

You can practice mindfulness by paying attention to your sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. There are tons of meditation guidance videos on YouTube to help you practice meditation. For journaling, you can either follow a journaling prompt (there are tons on Pinterest and Google), or you can simply write whatever comes to mind. 

Final words

Emotional instability is hard to deal with. Your relationships suffer, your mental health suffers, and your overall quality of life suffers.

The good news is that support is available. If you find that your volatile emotions are hurting your life, reaching out to a mental health professional can help you find the root causes of your emotional instability, understand your triggers, and learn new coping mechanisms to get through the intensely emotional situations. 

Therapy, self-care, and small lifestyle changes go a long way to helping you regain balance and control.